While an au pair arrangement is certainly not for everyone because not all families can afford the arrangement, may not have ample room space for another resident, or may not like the notion of giving up some privacy, others say it is the best arrangement possible for their needs. Here are some details to help you decide if the arrangement might be right for you.
How does the arrangement typically work?
Au pairs are almost always unmarried without children and between 17 and 30 years old. The au pair candidates usually aspire to live in another country to either broaden their experience and cultural understanding (i.e. "to see the world") or to attend college. The contracted amount of time is typically between one and two years, although arrangements may be shortened or extended based on what is agreed to or its overall success.
An au pair's job most commonly entails working in the home, usually with child care being the primary focus, for a set number of hours each day and with two days off each week. In return, the au pair receives room and board which includes a private room and a small salary or allowance. Most contracts also provide for paid vacation, just as with most full-time jobs. The au pair usually eats with the family and participates in many/most of the family activities. However, private time is expected for both sides, so that family members can be amongst themselves and the au pair can be free to go out for social activities and events that don't involve responsibility. In other words, an au pair is essentially expected to work around 40 hours each week, although evening child care or obligations can be arranged upon mutual agreement of both parties. In no way is the au pair expected to be treated as a servant, to be deferential to the family, or to wear a uniform. Specific countries each have detailed requirements, arrangements, expectations, and even training, and these do vary.
Interested parents typically first want to know about compatibility with their au pair, and rest assured that interest forms and detailed applications help to screen families and au pair candidates for the best possible match. There are numerous highly-reputable and qualified au pair agencies who work to achieve successful matches (after all, their reputation is on the line). Additional information about au pairs can be viewed on the International Au Pair Association website. This site is for both prospective au pairs and host families and is a good resource for answering basic questions. It also provides listings for qualified au pair agencies.
Reader-Submitted Pros About Using an Au Pair
- "An au pair arrangement provided me with the peace of mind I wanted with my kids while my husband and I worked. I have had two au pairs; both have adored my children and provided my kids with insight and learning opportunities about other countries and lifestyles they would never have had otherwise."
- "The cost is a little high, but it is worth it. Not only is my family getting a bonus member to love, but our au pair is attending college in our town as well. The only thing I hate to think about is when we have to say goodbye in six months."
- "When we need to travel or be late at work, we pay our au pair extra to remain on duty, which she is happy to do so. Language and cultural differences provided a challenge for the first month or so, but after that we couldn't be happier."
Reader-Submitted Cons About Using an Au Pair
- "We thought an extra bedroom would be enough, but my husband and I felt funny in our own home with an au pair around. It was nothing personal, but after our contract ended, we returned to traditional care."
- "Our family is very fun-loving and casual but our au pair had a very different personality and outlook on life, and it caused some tensions on occasion. I would recommend it to others, but with the warning to make sure personalities and interests are a good match."
- "I felt responsible for the au pair's well-being and ended up being resentful that I had another mouth to feed and concern for another person."
